Partners in Crime
by LovelyLadiiZ
Summary: A series of comedic one-shots about the friendship between Ryan Wolfe and Walter Simmons. Rated T just to be safe. Note: this is friendship, not slash.
1. Intoxicated by You

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun. :)

Author's Note: It's me again. I'm still working on This Fragile Heart. I just had to get this idea down. I came up with it a while ago, but since CSI: Miami was cancelled, I decided to go ahead and finally publish it. The show has to go on somehow, right?

This will revolve around Ryan and Walter's friendship. A few other characters might pop in here and there, but for the most part, it's just the two amigos.

Like the summary says, this is a bunch of one-shots compiled into one story. Each chapter will have the name and short summary of what will happen in that particular chapter. Once I have more uploaded, feel free to skip around and read the chapters out of order. It doesn't really matter. There might be mentions of events that happened in one chapter in the next ones, but it won't be anything major.

**Don't forget to review! **

* * *

_**Chapter 1 - Intoxicated by You **_

_After a few drinks, Ryan and Walter try to pick up girls—very unsuccessfully._

* * *

"Damn, Wolfe! Isn't that like your fifth one tonight?" Walter said in amazement as he saw his best friend, Ryan, order another drink.

"Well you said you were payin'," Ryan replied as he took a swig of his bourbon. "I just wanna get my money's worth."

"You mean _my_ money's worth," Walter corrected.

Wolfe shrugged. "Close enough."

Walter said something else, but Ryan was too distracted by a thin brunette who passed them by. Dressed in a pink blouse and white slacks, her outfit left a lot of things up to imagination. Yet that didn't stop a tipsy Ryan from ogling her like a ravenous dog eyed a fresh steak.

"Wolfe?" Walter's voice penetrated Ryan's thoughts. "Aw, c'mon man, at least close your mouth. You're droolin'."

Ryan clamped his mouth shut, wiping some saliva that dribbled down his chin with his sleeve. He glanced away from the brunette to look at his friend. "Hey…hey, you see that girl over there?" he slurred.

Walter glanced over behind the white male. "You're talkin' 'bout the brunette? The one in the pink shirt?"

"Mm-hmm. I…I think I'ma go talk to her."

Walter smirked. "Ryan you can barely talk, _period_."

Ryan dismissed Walter's comment with a wave of the hand. "I've got this," he murmured before getting up heading for the brunette's table.

The woman sat at the table alone, glancing down to her Blackberry that she tapped at rapidly. She barely even noticed Ryan until he sat down at the table before her.

"Hey," Ryan said slowly, trying to sound cool.

"Um, hello," the woman replied, briefly glancing away from her phone before she looked back down and kept texting.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful sea-blue eyes?" Wolfe crooned, unaware that he was slurring. "I can practically hear the waves crashing as we speak."

The brunette frowned and glanced up to Ryan again. "My eyes are gray."

It was Ryan's turn to frown. Sure enough, the brunette had deep-gray eyes. Trying to bounce back from his mistake, he said, "Of course they are. They're like rocks out by the Miami Beach pier…"

It wasn't until after the woman gave him a strange look that Ryan realized the stupidity of his previous statement.

"Are you drunk?" she asked, although she clearly already knew her answer.

"Me? Drunk? Nah," Ryan replied coolly. "I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you."

At this point Ryan could hear Walter's amused howling from behind him at the bar. The woman rolled her eyes, grabbed her purse and Blackberry, and left.

Ryan turned around and shot Walter a cold glare. "Gee thanks for nothin', Walter."

"Me? What'd I do?" Walter asked as his laughter died down.

"You ran my girl away!"

"Oh believe me—you took care of that all by yourself," the black male replied. He shook his head, laughing again. "'Intoxicated by you'? Really Wolfe?"

Ryan pursed his lips. "And you think you can do better?"

"No; I _know_ I can do better," Walter said as Ryan climbed back up on the barstool. "Pick a girl—any girl in the bar. I bet you I can get her number."

The Caucasian man looked around the bar for a moment before pointing to a curvy black woman near the end of the bar counter. "Her. Red tube top, down at the end of the counter."

"Mm, Wolfe, you know my taste," Walter said, grinning in delight. He stood up and said, "Watch and learn."

Ryan watched his best friend stride to the end of the bar and sit nearby the woman.

"Hey baby," he said slyly as he placed his hand near hers. "Can I buy you a drink?"

The woman looked up to Walter and frowned. "Walter?"

Walter's face fell immediately as he realized who this woman was. "Cousin Patty?"

Patty—Walter's cousin—grimaced. "You're nasty, Walter! I'm tellin' Aunt Janice on you!"

"Wait, hold on! I didn't know it was you!" Walter defended himself as his cousin stormed off.

He looked around nervously, hoping that no one else caught on to his awkward conversation with who he _thought_ was a woman outside his bloodlines. Fortunately for him, Ryan was the only one who had paid attention to the entire mishap. Not-so-fortunately, Ryan was coherent enough to remember that embarrassing moment for years to come. Ryan was in a loud, convulsive laughter by the time Walter slunk back to the seat next to him.

"Shut up. It wasn't that funny," Walter grumbled.

"I-I can't be-believe you tried t-to pick up your _cousin_!" Ryan managed to get out between chortles. "Oh man, I'm _never_ gonna forget this night."

"Whatever, Ryan," Walter muttered with a scowl, motioning for the bartender. "I need a drink."


	2. Video Games

Author's Note: This chapter is actually based on a conversation/argument I had with an owner of an Xbox 360. I must warn you that I'm a Nintendo lover, so I might be biased. No offense to any Xbox lovers out there. :P

* * *

_**Chapter 2 - Video Games**_

_Which is the better gaming platform: Xbox 360, or Nintendo Wii? Walter and Ryan have a gaming tournament to find out._

* * *

"Oh man, I can't wait to get home," Walter said to Ryan as they were in the ballistics lab one afternoon.

Ryan looked up from the bullets he was comparing under the microscope to gain eye contact with his best friend and coworker. "How come? Tired of comparing striation marks already?"

"Nah, man, it's not that. I just got my brand new Wii last night, and I never got a chance to break that baby in."

Ryan quirked his brow before leaning back down to the microscope. "A new Wii, huh?"

Walter frowned upon hearing the white man's tone. "Yeah…what about it?"

"Oh, nothin', nothin'. It's just…y'know, the Xbox 360 is a lot better than the Wii."

The bigger male folded his arms. "Really? How?"

"Well you've got better games on Xbox rather than the Wii. There's NBA 2K12 and Madden 12, not to mention Halo, Gears of War, and Call of Duty…"

"NBA 2K12, Madden 12, and Call of Duty are all out for the Wii," Walter argued. "I know 'cause I special ordered them all. And as for Gears of War and Halo…I'm not that crazy about them anyway."

Ryan stood upright, appalled. "You're _kidding_ right?"

"Nope, not really," Walter said with a shrug. "Seen one shooting game, you've seen them all."

Wolfe stared at his best friend as if he'd just spoken in gibberish. After a shocked silence, he said, "Well what games does the Wii have? Other than Super Mario and all those other kiddy games, that is."

"Hey, don't diss Mario. He's a classic. Besides, I have my niece and nephew over a lot and they like to play those kiddy games."

Ryan nodded. "Okay, that makes sense now. Because if you were looking for a _real_ gaming experience, you wouldn't've gone anywhere near the Wii."

"Okay, what's so special about the Xbox? Sure, you've got shooting games. But other than that, the games on the Wii are pretty much the same. Not to mention the Wii is a lot more affordable than the Xbox."

"I like to call that an investment."

Walter sighed, rolling his eyes. "Well what about the controllers? With the Wii, you can move your character when you move with the controller in your hand. That comes in handy for games like Just Dance."

"And the Xbox has the Kinect, which lets your body be the controller. And we have Dance Central."

"I heard there are a lot of glitches with that," Walter countered. "You have to have specific lighting and clothing for it to work right, not to mention you're screwed if someone walks in front of the TV while you're playing…"

Ryan remained silent for a moment before saying, "I bet I can prove to you that the Xbox is better than the Wii."

"Oh you can, huh?" Walter said, skeptic. "How are you gonna do that?"

"In a gaming tournament. Wii's games versus Xbox's games. I'll bring my console over tonight and we can play 3 different games—a shooting game, a sports game, and a dance game. After we play all three for both the Wii and the Xbox, I bet you'll be ready to return your Wii."

Walter pursed his lips. "Don't count on it, Wolfe. But you're on."

* * *

"I hate the Wii," Ryan grumbled to Walter. The two were in the middle of their gaming tournament, and Ryan lost both games of NBA 2K12—on the Wii and the Xbox. Now they were playing Call of Duty: Black Ops, and seeing as Walter killed Ryan's character repeatedly, it was apparent that Wolfe was going to be 0-for-3.

"Don't down the Wii because you're gettin' your ass kicked," Walter said with a smug smirk. "You lost the game of b-ball on the Xbox, too. Remember?"

"That's because your dog kept getting in my way every time I tried to make a shot. And I just learned the controls for this game about ten minutes ago," Ryan complained.

"So did I!" Walter countered. "I just learned them when I read them to you. You saw me open the box just now."

"This thing must be rigged, then," Ryan mumbled. "Did you put new batteries in this controller? You know the ones that come in the box never work."

"I think it's an operator error, Ryan," said Walter with a chuckle.

"Screw you, Walter."

The room grew silent until Walter's Great Dane barked. Ryan frowned as the dog trotted in front of him and started sniffing his hand. The male looked away from the screen for a brief moment to wave the dog away.

"Yes!" Walter cried. "I win! _Again_!"

"Hey, no fair!" Ryan wailed. "Your dog got in the way again!"

Walter put down the controller and whistled for his dog to come to him. "Don't get mad at Blackie 'cause you keep losing. It's not her fault you suck."

"Okay, how about we just skip to the end?" Wolfe said, ignoring Walter's comment. "I need to show you how to play Dance Central."

"Tired of gettin' your butt spanked, huh? Well I guess we could skip to Dance Central. So I can beat your ass one more time."

Ryan rolled his eyes and went to grab Dance Central. After explaining how to play the game, Wolfe went first. He was doing well for the first minute or so, and had a perfect score. That is…until Blackie walked in front of him. Once his concentration was broken, he turned to look at Walter.

"You sent her over on purpose, didn't you?" he snapped.

"Hey, don't blame this on me. I told you you'd be screwed if someone walked in front of you," Walter said. "Can you even pause with that thing?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Then why didn't you just pause when you saw Blackie coming?"

Ryan made a gesture to pause the game, unsure of why he didn't do that earlier.

"Shut up," was all he said.

Walter snickered. "I hate to break it to you…but I still like the Wii better. I think you just wasted your time trying to prove me otherwise."

Ryan knew his best friend well enough to know that Walter didn't hate to let him know that at all. In fact, it was the direct opposite—he was rubbing it in. The white male rolled his eyes again. "Whatever, Walter."


	3. Ryan's Secret Admirer

Author's Note: I know it has been a while. Sorry! I'll try to get the next chapter up quicker next time. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

_**Chapter 3 – Ryan's Secret Admirer**_

_Ryan has a secret admirer. Her identity is a surprise to everyone._

* * *

Walter and Ryan had just finished processing evidence in the layout room. As they were on their way back to store the evidence back in the evidence vault, Natalia approached the two.

"Hey Ryan…this came for you," she said and held up a heart-shaped lollipop.

Walter chuckled as he watched Wolfe receive the candy. "Isn't that the third one in the past two weeks? You got a secret admirer or somethin'?"

"Dunno," Ryan admitted as he inspected the candy. "Say Nat, was there a note with this?"

"Nope. The secretary said that a woman with a little girl dropped it off…she didn't get a good look at them though."

Natalia left the two men alone in the hallway, leaving them to ponder over whom Ryan's secret admirer could be.

Ryan glanced down at the candy. "Every time it's the same thing; a cherry heart-shaped lollypop. Whoever it is must know cherry's my favorite."

"You don't think it's that crazy chick you broke up with a few months ago, do you?" Walter asked. "What's her name…Lola? Lela?"

"Lissa," Ryan corrected. "And she wasn't crazy; she was just…_reality-challenged_."

Walter nodded slowly. "Sounds like a nice way of saying that the chick was crazy. Didn't you say she told you she wanted to get your name tattooed across her chest after the first date?"

Ryan shuddered at the memory. "Okay, maybe she _was_ a little…out of the ordinary. But either way, I don't think it's her. Last I heard, she moved to New York. She should be long gone by now." He paused to glance over the candy. "I wonder who it could be."

Walter smirked as he stored the evidence back in the vault. "I dunno. But hey, changing the subject…you still up to going to the fair later today? Jessi and Jason practically see you as part of the family, so they'd be hurt if you bailed on us at the last minute."

Ryan almost forgot that he'd agreed to go to the fair with Walter along with his eleven-year-old niece, Jessica, and five-year-old nephew, Jason. He'd spent so much time with the Simmons family that the two children nearly adopted Ryan as part of their family.

"Of course I'm still coming," Ryan replied. "I'll meet you at your place 'round five this evening."

The black male nodded in agreement to their plan. "Sounds good. I'm gonna get ready to clock out. Gotta leave early so I can go pick up the kids from school." He gave Ryan a pat on the shoulder. "Good luck finding your secret admirer."

Wolfe smiled dryly in response.

* * *

Ryan pulled up to Walter's place at five o'clock on the dot. As he walked up to the front door, he saw Jason peeping out the window. The sound of little feet pattering was heard followed by the little boy screaming, "Yay! Ryan is here!"

Walter came to the door to greet his best friend. "Hey Wolfe," he said as he let Ryan in.

"Hi Ryan!" Jason said happily as he squeezed by his uncle.

Ryan kneeled before the little boy. "Hey, buddy. You ready to have some fun at the fair?"

Jason jumped up and down eagerly. "Yeah! Let's go!"

"Hold on, Jas. You've gotta go get your jacket and put your socks and shoes on first," Walter intervened in a parental-like way. "And where's your sister?"

"In the bathroom. She said she had to finish putting on her lip gloss," Jason explained.

"Lip gloss, eh?" Walter repeated, giving a sigh as he shook his head. "That girl's only eleven years old and she's wearin' lip gloss. What is the world coming to?"

Ryan chuckled. He turned his attention back to the little boy and said, "You want me to help you finish getting ready, Jas?"

Jason nodded. As Ryan was helping Jason put on his shoes, Jessica emerged from the bathroom.

"Hi, Ryan…" Jessica said in a sing-song tone and gave him a little wave.

"Hey, Jessi," Ryan replied as briefly glanced up from tying Jason's shoes.

Walter frowned as he saw his niece. "Jessi, you've got _way_ too much of that stuff on. And why do you need to wear lip gloss anyway? You're only eleven."

"I'm almost _twelve_, Uncle Walter," Jessica retorted. "And I just want to look nice today."

Walter sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Fine, whatever. Jas, Ryan, you ready?"

Ryan nodded when he finished tying Jason's shoes.

"Ready!" Jason shouted.

The group headed out the door and to the car. Jason talked the entire car ride to the fairgrounds about what rides he was going to go on that evening. Walter noticed that his niece was unusually quiet as she silently stared up at the passenger seat where Ryan sat. Figuring she was thinking of a crush of hers at school, Walter left it alone.

When the group got to the fair, Walter held Jason's hand as they were about to cross the street. Jessica stood beside Ryan and said, "Can you hold my hand, Ryan?"

Wolfe smiled and slipped his hand in the girl's to help her across the street. After they got paid for admission and got their hand stamps, Jason exclaimed, "I wanna ride on the Ferris wheel!"

"Okay, okay," Walter chuckled. "Jessi, you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?"

"Only if I get to ride with Ryan," Jessica responded as she clung close to Wolfe.

"Sure, I'll ride with you," Ryan replied.

The four headed to the Ferris wheel, which had no line. Walter sat with Jason in one cabin, and Ryan sat with Jessica in another cabin. As the ride began, Ryan couldn't help but notice that Jessica's gaze was more directed at him than at the sights below. She kept smiling at him, too. The reason why she kept smiling at him was completely unapparent to Ryan, though.

Once the ride was over, Jason pointed to a teacup ride and charged for its line. Walter went after him, and Jessica lingered behind with Ryan.

"Ryan, can I have some cotton candy?" the girl asked.

"Sure," Ryan said as he rummaged through his pockets for his wallet. When he pulled it out, the candy from his _secret admirer_ fell out with it.

Jessica smiled when she saw the candy. "You still have it!"

Ryan frowned in confusion. Upon glaring down at the candy and back at Jessica, something finally clicked.

"_You're_ the one who's been sending me the candy?" Wolfe said in astonishment.

Jessica nodded, smiling. "Yeah. I remember you saying you liked cherry candy, so I got you cherry every time."

Walter was a few steps ahead of Ryan, but he heard the conversation loud and clear. He spun around, stifling a laugh as he said, "Ryan's secret admirer…is my eleven year old niece. Wow."

"I'm almost _twelve,_ Uncle Walter!" Jessica corrected. She turned back to Ryan and smiled sweetly.

"Uh, thanks for the candy, Jessi…but y'know I'm a little too old for you," Ryan said gently.

Jessica shrugged. "It's okay, Ryan. I like older guys."

Walter couldn't hold in his laughter at this point and he was howling loudly at his niece's comment.

Ryan ignored Walter and said, "I'm still a little too old for you, Jessi." He handed her the candy and said, "Why don't you give this to someone in your class? Someone your age."

Jessica appeared hurt as she took the candy back. "Oh…okay."

Ryan saw how crushed the girl was and he said, "I'll still buy you that cotton candy. Here…" he pulled out a five dollar bill and handed it to Jessica. "Why don't you buy cherry flavored so we can share?"

Jessica perked up a bit and she smiled. "Okay. Thanks, Ryan!"

Ryan sighed as Jessica left for the cotton candy cart nearby. "I can't believe my secret admirer was your niece this whole time," he said to Walter.

"I figured she was actin' funny when she was putting on lip gloss just to go to the fair," Walter said. He smirked as he decided to tease his friend. "I think the saddest thing about this whole situation is that was probably the most romance you've had in a while, huh Wolfe?"

Ryan smirked dryly. "Very funny."

"Hey, just sayin'. And maybe in seven years when she's legal…you two might get together," Walter jested with a chuckle. "It might make things a little awkward, though…my best friend being my nephew."

Ryan shot Walter a look. "Screw you, Walter."


End file.
